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Everything posted by self_medic

  1. The second song is called “Tricking in Florence.” Just found this and I’m really digging it right now.
  2. Agreed @pattmayne about the first 4 circuit chapters. Blew my fucking mind.
  3. Well....that’s actually awesome you enjoy the work you do! What a blessing. Honestly, maybe the “something missing” feeling is just a universal aspect of human existence. Why that is... who the fuck knows. But I think it’s at the core of all of us, although some are more aware of it than others. This may be a typical response, but meditation could help. Recognizing our thoughts float by trying to find solutions to this “unsatisfied” feeling sort of gives you some space from it (the feeling) if that makes sense. Also, as a personal therapy session, perhaps find some kind of creative outlet or project to work on when you’re not working. Anyway, I feel you brother. But remember, this too shall pass.
  4. Yeah I think you’re forgetting the integration aspect of therapy. MDMA can help people see their trauma from a new, more beneficial perspective. That can be cultivated/solidified over time with therapy. It’s not just about how great they feel while on the drug. And perhaps it won’t work for everyone, and maybe some trauma is so ingrained in someone ppl’s psyche that it’s not easy to shake lose of a negative, destructive “lens.” But I’d say most can with MDMA. (83% per MAPS I think)
  5. I had one of the most intense psychedelic experiences ever the day after meditating with binaural beats. It began with a strange tingly feeling on my forehead that gradually grew stronger, until it finally felt like a water fountain bursted through the crown of my head. That’s when the “trip” began, and lasted until I went to sleep a few hours later. It was extremely spiritual in nature, and was more intense than any trip I’ve had from consuming substances. I’m still trying to make sense of it...but needless to say it’s definitely made me reconsider what is possible.
  6. That sounds amazing to me right now.
  7. 2-cb
  8. Do you notice any negative effects? Why do you want to stop? I use mostly every day going on 5 years, with the exception of a couple tolerance breaks. I ponder this myself...Perhaps my short term memory is worse, but it helps with depression. I find more meaning in life when I'm using consistently, and I don't really want to go back on SSRIs. So I don't know...I'm guessing She's not done teaching me yet.
  9. Cool. Thanks for sharing...I've listened to his podcast but had no idea who he was.
  10. I am in a similar situation. Long story short is that I studied finance prior to learning more about myself and what truly interests me, and now I'm stuck. The problem is I don't know how to make a career out of what I really enjoy. But anyway.... is there any possibility to get into your desired career without more college or another degree? I personally could stand dealing with the culture of universities again, but not paying all that money for it.
  11. I'm sorry to hear this... Sending love and praying for healing and integration to the family and friends dealing with her loss. And God Speed to the member no longer with us...May she have a peaceful journey.
  12. Hold on to ur butts.....
  13. Agreed. I'm not big on weddings either, but they may not be as terrible as you're making it out to be. It seems like your bro wants to have you at his celebration. It's just one day.
  14. How many grams do you guys do? I just tried my first dose this evening. Started with 3gs, and about 45 min in, I started noticing a pleasant feeling to my skin/body...gave me goosebumps for a moment. Reminded me of the cup of lean I drank, but maybe a bit more subtle in its effects. I really dig this so far...hopefully it'll be a good anxiety remedy when I need it. So far it doesn't seem to impair my cognitive ability too much.
  15. Hmm.
  16. +1 vote for Aesop Rock. (Love that DMX song though. I think that album was partly responsible for me getting into hip hop music.)
  17. -Write "Don't believe everything your brain conjures up" on your hand prior to smoking/getting high. -Stick to more sedative indica strains if you still like getting high and they are available to you. I used to have a problem believing weird thoughts when I was younger (like if I thought a family member was going to die, I worried that would cause it to happen,) and somehow it slowly went away for the most part. Occasionally it'll happen, but these thoughts don't have the gravity they once had. You just have to consistently remind yourself every day that just because you think it, doesn't necessarily make it real....like ingrain that into your consciousness....that's my best advice I got
  18. I went last month. I hiked this trail and it was fucking beautiful IMO. Not too crowded either, which was nice (went on a Friday morning.) It's about an hour and 15m from Denver I believe. http://www.rockymountainhikingtrails.com/ouzel-falls.htm
  19. You have personal experience taking antipsychotics @nicklelust?
  20. What do the voices say @stein22501?
  21. I can relate OP. Three strategies that could help that I'm about to attempt: -As a daily experiment, try to channel/act like someone who enjoys connecting with other people. Just for the sake of trying out a different reality tunnel. Smile more, be more sociable, etc. -Gratitude meditation in the morning. -Do more strenuous exercise. Try it for a month and see if you notice any positive results.
  22. I preface this by saying my attention span is fucking embarrassing. But I find books on spirituality are especially difficult to read...It's not that they go totally over my head, but I feel like you have to read them SLOW and pause frequently for the concepts to sink in. Im considering reading this with y'all, but it will probably take me several months to finish.
  23. Artist - Lil Ugly Mane Song - Stoop Lights
  24. Edit - I sincerely hope you find a remedy for your pain soon, man. If there's anyone in your life that could possibly help in any way, reach out to them and ask. Even if its the members of this forum.