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52 Purple Pope

About self_medic

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  1. I haven't tried DMT yet, but I'm considering it soon. What is your experience with smoking DMT? Would you consider the psychic healing potential to be more or less than a longer mushroom trip? I'd assume if anything, it's a great opportunity to practice surrendering and letting go, which I have some issues with. A few months ago, another member here @Tomasaid he felt like his anxiety was nonexistent for several days after...and frankly that sounds amazing. I've had some great mushroom trips, but that's never happened with me. Thanks for any feedback, fam.
  2. I struggle with this part. I feel like love and fearlessness are mutually exclusive, at least for me. I'm good at loving the people around me, but I don't know how to balance that with not being afraid of standing up for myself. Every time I do, I get the initial sense that I'm overreacting, and should just have let it go instead of fueling a conflict with someone I love. Perhaps I have a deeper issue with self love that would help with that...I don't know. But how do you stop feeling like a dick every time you do something that favors your self interest?
  3. @tyqoInternment camps sound pretty shitty to me, man. But I see your point. We are all going to die, and Donald is a perfect distraction from that. I agree with @Rokazuluthough. I think there is some kind of awakening happening right now, but it isn't so rapid that we are all aware of it. But as long as the internet isn't shut down, it'll keep growing. RAW, Leary and McKenna's timelines were just not quite accurate...but it doesn't mean that they weren't on to something. If there's any truth to be known, it's that life continues to evolve.
  4. I'm stuck in a dead end office job at the moment, but paying my bills because of it thankfully. God how I would love to get a government income check every month so I can quit this and just do photography or make Etsy shit...and not starve to death. I need more control of my time and life.
  5. Yeah it's funny to me that the most active discussions here the past few days are 1. Bitch about forum thread and 2. Let's all leave thread.
  6. With that said, God speed to all the fam who decide to go.
  7. I won't be joining you. I'm not that active on this board, but it's still always meant a lot to me ever since I joined. My first post was a request for prayers and advice during an extremely difficult time in my life, and many members here sent me messages of love and support when I was completely lost in grief. Needless to say I'll always be grateful for that.
  8. @Nihil Loc What is your "monster?" The part of you that you have repressed or failed to integrate? I feel like that's what it is for me...the aspects of myself that I need to work on but ignore because it seems scary or difficult. Just curious. Because you mentioned you are holding off from facing the monster and instead getting your shit together, but isn't facing the monster part of that process? I'm in a similar position btw. Fear has been holding me back from changing, and I'm slowly becoming more conscious of this. I just don't know how long I can go without taking that leap of faith.
  9. Awesome thread mayne! I've been seeing the Hero's Journey play out in my life as well. I don't know if I've answered the call yet, although I definitely received it. I feel like I'm beginning to see a path out by gradually realizing the aspects of my personality I've been repressing, and what I need to give space to in my life. (I see it the clearest when I smoke weed and go running outside...great therapy BTW) Its not gonna be easy, but I have a clearer picture of what to do.
  10. So did this dream happen on Sunday or early morning on Monday then? Just trying to understand the time between your dream and when the murder occurred.
  11. Fuck...........I couldn't finish this.
  12. To quote Carlin, "The planet is fine. The people are fucked."
  13. Thanks @CosmEffect. I'm gonna read that paper. I came across the Grof spiritual emergence/emergency stuff a few days after my experience and that helped me integrate it in a way. The thought of it simply being a psychotic break terrified me, and because it felt so "spiritual" in nature made me think there was something more to it, so that's what I decided it was. At the time, I was seeing a psychiatrist once a month to collect a prescription for antidepressants for some acute anxiety and depression issues. I didn't feel comfortable telling him about my experience for fear of what he'd think of it. I wonder if he would've diagnosed me with something and put me on another drug. Im no longer seeing him, but I'm thinking about seeing a Jungian therapist soon and if I do, I'll share my experience.
  14. RIP Cap Steez
  15. @acreagelifeYou quit too soon. It got good later on. Edit: I agree with you though. Joe has been obsessing over the SJW shit as of late.