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Everything posted by monkey_mine

  1. Good luck with your Jew thing, @softwarmpretty. I fell in love with a Jew once, but she was more of a Jew-Bu than a regular Jew I think. Beautiful podcast with Natasha. The chemistry between Duncan and Natasha still makes for a great conversation. As for "the company", I love this idea. I think it's natural for humans to name things. So we will probably have as many names for the company as there are bird songs, working toward common ends in loose affiliation.
  2. Except maybe for Kathy Griffin. Holy Shit Kathy! What?
  3. Adult onset dyslexia is a real deal. I did a survery and 100% of the respondents confrimed it.
  4. Then to finish my rough summary, we see most people reside along the continuum toward the opposite polarity. Some people like it at the opposite polarity. Scientific materialism, pragmatism, logical positivism, wherein we essentially just look at what is practical and provable. Problem solving consciousness is fine because it helps us to deal with actual problems in the actual world. Existence exists. You don't need to meditate. Of course we have egos. Get over it. We have self determination. Forget about enlightenment and deal with real life problems. I see this as another path to awakening into the non-dualistic reality only you don't hold that awakening as an objective. You just take the focus away from yourself and put it into the world. Observing reality as it presents and looking for what needs doing. Notice the forms of support and the opportunities you have. You would not expect to find an answer to a life purpose question in an old sci-fi B movie, but this came into consciousness recently and for me it converts into a good life purpose statement. "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum." It's a great line and for me it translates into a life purpose statement. @softwarmpretty, we never know what fruits our littlest actions might bring. Thank you for this conversation. In my younger years I was all about self improvement and spent a lot of time trying to design a perfect life purpose statement. Now, not even searching, I found one: I have come here to have fun and solve problems. Just like what I am doing now. I come to this forum to have fun and clarify my thinking in order to solve problems. I go to my job to solve problems and have fun. If I'm not having any fun, then that becomes a problem to fix. If I have no problems left to fix, then it's all fun until the next problem turns up. It's simple. Plus, sometimes it's even fun to kick ass. Edit- I always have to add something. sometimes I keep adding until I break it. But to love also has to be part of it. Here to love. give love, receive love. I have come here to love, to have fun, and solve problems.
  5. The President of the United States of America. Fuck yeah man! The body language says it all. "the bare lie shines through" WS Burroughs
  6. @softwarmpretty one way we can talk about this dilemma is through examining both polarized extreme views, then we can see the wide range of middle ground, where most people live. The first polarity is the view that everything is projection. This is the view of some non-dualists. These are the non-dualists that say "everything is perfect". The universe is a perfect manifestation of our consciousness, and if you have a problem with some part of the perfect universe, it's just your limitation, interpretation, or projection. If you dwell in the all-one perfection of the eternal now, the "story" of that imperfection would roll off you like water off a duck's back. In this worldview, we consistently drop "problem solving consciousness", self identity, thoughts of past and future, to live in the blissful and eternal now. Here's a couple non-dualist yogis talking about the idea- It's a difficult idea for many of us, because we can see so many problems in the world and things seem so fucked up. I like what Zen master Shunryu Suzuki said about it: "Everything is perfect and there is always room for improvement." Some people can hold this "everything is perfect" POV and still remain actively engaged in the world. For others though, it gives them a way to disengage from actively or pragmatically dealing with problems in the world. Then we have some Ho'oponopono types who have taken the Hawaiian tradition of conflict resolution and turned it into a practice of taking every problem that you perceive as a manifestation of your consciousness. In this new re-branding of the practice of Ho'oponopono as exemplified by Hew Len, whenever a problem appears to arise, you can start "cleaning". The problem exists because of some imperfection in your consciousness. We are all incarnations of the divine and we create our reality. There are many entertaining ways of "cleaning", like eating certain foods. Blueberries for example. Here are some of the foods/tools recommended: The main way of "cleaning" consists of 4 internal mantras that you use for each problem that arises: I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. The first two are repentance for your error in creating a problem. The second two are appreciation for the eternal bounty which we are given. Here is a nice story about how this process works: You can find this story all over the internet without finding a shred of evidence to support it. The third one I thought of, (and I'm sure that there are more, but these three just came to mind) is your basic New Age idealist with the motto: "You create your reality." Now of course there is some truth to this as we interpret our reality, and we talk about our reality (which is an interpretation through language), but some new agers take it to the extreme. Like Hew Len, looking at patient files and saying I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you. Or someone dealing with a practical problem like "I'll just hold my crystal and think good thoughts". I'm not saying that it isn't true either. The idea that we create our reality makes sense to me. But it also makes sense to me to try and solve problems in a practical way. If you don't have a practical way, then try one of the many magical thinking processes as a back up plan.
  7. You deleted your "Enlightenment is bullshit." comment! That was my favorite part. Why delete it? I would guess you don't want to argue with people about it. I don't have the confidence to say that I know for certain that the experience is 100% real. I've met a few people who I consider next level something or other, but mostly if I get to hang out with them for a while, I see some way in which they are fucked up or in denial. I've never hung out with any so called enlightened person (say the Dali Lama) long enough to confidently verify that they have solidly transcended all ego power trips and show no evidence of denial. Nor am I certain that I am qualified to make that determination. It could be I may see them through my own projections. Some people think "The Guru should not get angry and yell at that person. The Guru must be fucked up." I don't have that particular belief, but I may have other unexamined beliefs that prevent me from recognizing next level "perfection" when I see it. So I am left with the idea that there may be some next level evolutionary step, but I have not found personally that I can maintain any next level enlightenment or permanent bliss state. But maybe if I keep meditating and going to retreats and hanging out with teachers I might still find find my way to that next level. Or maybe that imagined "enlightenment" is just a big carrot hanging in front of dumb horses like me that keeps them trudging forward for no real reward. I don't really know. I accept it as one of my drives. Whether it's a true evolutionary drive in me or if it's just a character flaw, I don't really care. It's my way of playing this game and relating to life. The group of people I get to hang out with on this path make up of my tribes. I think I get all of your criticism. Including the arrogance of the "enlightened". The denial of the shadow, of conflict. I've seen it. Lived it. And I keep seeing it. Yet here I go thinking about planning my next retreat. I might go real hardcore and do 20 days. I should be PTFE if I can finish this one. (Permanently and Totally Fucking Enlightened). @softwarmpretty, I'm still thinking about that topic, and plan to get back to you soon.
  8. This turned out to be a decent podcast. Now we know gruff Raghu is only gruff on the outside but has a soft gooey new age center. I like both sides of him, but the gruff Raghu shouldn't go away. He keeps it real. @Khan simplicity might be the key to staying enlightened. If you compare, as Duncan and Raghu did, enlightenment (or awakening) via meditation/guru/sangha/shakti to awakening via psychedelics , they are generally both equivalent and fleeting experiences. And in both these experiences, once you return to the layered complexities of civilization/society, you gradually or quickly lose the simple purity of being here now. The Babas stay simple. Maybe if I could go live in a cave or jungle I could stay awakened. Instead I have a house and a big yard and garden, cars, job, relationships, plans, "the full catastrophe". Or maybe that's just an excuse. I'm probably just too lazy.
  9. That post and comment just makes me love you more. I see the doubt in your post and you are right to doubt. You're not certain, is this a "me" problem or is this a "we" problem. And to stay on that bubble, not knowing if it's your internal projection only or an actual problem that you may need to address somehow, is to remain in the question, in a space of potential and learning. Because it may be that the spiritual rappers you witnessed are not helping anyone, but rather mucking things up with hacky clichés. This may not serve the audience, but instead distract them from clearly seeing the real problems touched on in the rap. Or there may be something else "objective" that you objected to. Looking at this problem in more general terms, and this is a problem that some people (like me) wrestle with at meditation retreats is: "how do you know when a problem can be dealt with as a mental projection or subjective internal story by just "being here now" in the beautiful multilinear kaleidoscopic moment, OR see it instead as a problem "in the world" that might require resistance or action? Is this a conversation we can have @softwarmpretty? Because I don't have an answer for it. I've heard answers from different teachers but I don't take them up. For me it is not a matter of learning from some authority, but of perceiving directly, in the moment. So I trust my question, (even though it may not be the best question), more than I trust any answer I've heard or read so far.
  10. @softwarmpretty Sorry to go all PC on you but we really shouldn't judge because we're not there. I remember being very high on weed once and laughing hysterically at a Purina Cat Chow commercial. If I observed someone laughing at that commercial in my normal state of consciousness, I would think "Geez, you're easily entertained!" but you kind of had to be stoned to get it. Same with this. The Ram Dass people are high as kites on God knows what combination of internal chemistry, without any additional external chemical help. I don't know of any scientific research done on spiritual transmission, (Rupert Sheldrake, why aren't you on this?) but I've been around it enough to know that it's real. This is one of the truths Duncan is pointing to. The Ram Dass people are stoned. So we don't really know, without being there, what might delight us or make us laugh. Also we don't know- but maybe half of the Ram Dass people there are rolling their eyes at the Minister of Fun and her spiritual rapping.
  11. I see a lot of unnecessary self criticism in your story. Re-cognize the situation, and stand up for yourself. Communicate with your bf. You have a say in your relationship Of course when you have a choice between having a beer with your slacker boyfriend OR stay at home washing the dishes, cooking dinner, doing camping prep, walking the dog AND selling the stinky couch you decide to go with your bf. Why should you stay home and do all that work while your BF goes out to have a beer? Ask him to lift a finger to help out. You have skills. You plan things out. Not everyone has that skill. It's a good thing, in it's place. Too much planning is not a good thing, but neither is too much chillaxing.
  12. Has anyone here checked out/tried any of these devices? Dave Asprey uses it but he tries everything. Yes this technology was developed by NASA. Yes it has proven to help bones heal, among other things. You can find lots of research studies, testimonials, PubMed articles on PEMF. Still, with so many different devices available, trying to sort out truth from hype on the internet is like trying to assemble a jigsaw puzzle with half the pieces missing. Edit: After much research, I got an ICES device. Robert Dennis is the original developer of the current versions of PEMF with NASA, and he created the ICES brand PEMF device. I got the B5. We have proven studies of it's biological efficacy l for bone regeneration and repair.
  13. Yeah @pattmayne thanks, that reminds me of something. I forgot about my enjoyment of melancholy. I'll still listen to music that gives me that feeling. Not depressing music, that feels too time bound, too much like real life. But certain music and movies can provoke a kind of purifying melancholy that connects me with the timeless.
  14. Depression for me was a state of "failing at everything". It was important for me to find some things to do that I would not fail at doing. It was important to move my body. It was important to get outside. It was important to find some way to have fun.
  15. @pattmayne I love your phrase " I yielded to the depression and its lessons, and the decadent beauty" . Isn't it funny how some people can talk about depression like it's only a physical problem? Like "it was a chemical problem and SSRI's fixed me." It's like "yeah I had cancer but chemo and radiation got rid of it". Who talks about the "decadent beauty" of cancer? The psychology of depression seems to give it so much more meaning than a more apparently physical ailment You know, I am learning some things about my relationship with depression here... I don't know if I have talked about my depression with anyone before. This feels like a new thing to share in this way. Thinking about it now, I had forgotten how many hours I stared out of my bedroom window, living at my parents house, (I know, @TeenKonceptz® you don't have to say it- "loser") depressed, and thinking, "I don't want to live like my Dad. I don't want to be a cog in the machine. I don't want to be a part of this fucked up mess of society." Was that the start of my depression? Or was that "NO" already inside of me, years before, and just manifesting in that time because of the choices I saw in front of me? That "NO" would grow like a cancer, blanketing every choice or action until I felt paralyzed with indecision, unable to do anything In many ways I put depression behind me, but I also pretended to put these issues behind me. This consideration. This inquiry. This strong "NO" and the refusal to compromise. @Rokazulu Yeah, I don't think that's true. I don't think I could go on this long, having a good time, staying engaged with life, and be secretly, unknowingly, depressed. I think the more provocative truth is that maybe I had more integrity when I was depressed and rejecting all of society, than I have now, when I am engaged and contributing to this fucked up mess. Maybe along the way out of depression, I became comfortable with a certain level of denial. Look at you, @softwarmpretty , getting it done with your stolen power point slide! I love how out of 7 categories, 4 simply increase Seretonin. That's your basic hammer in the toolkit. Two more start with increasing Serotonin, but only the NDRI bupropion bypasses serotonin completely. By the way, I can't talk about Grey's Anatomy with you (although I would love for you to explain how that TV show contributed to sloppy medicine), because out of all the medical shows I sampled, the only one I wound up watching was Nurse Jacky. Not that that show didn't get corny and soapy like all the other medical shows. And not that they got all the technical procedures right. It's because it had such a great cast and great acting throughout, especially Edie Falco as Nurse Jacky.
  16. @Rokazulu I hit quote instead of edit, so my response is in two parts now.
  17. Thanks @Charlemagne weedy. I never got into a suicide loop or thought about suicide much. I did used to fantasize about jumping into space from a very high cliff with like 200 feet of rope attached to a metal jaws-like contraption on my head that at the end of the rope would snap down driving spikes into my eyes and taking the top of my head off. It was just a fantasy; I never contemplated a real plan, and I stopped having those kinds of fantasies in my 30's. When I worked more in the emergency and critical side of medicine, the medical staff (including me) would ridicule the people who came in severely injured from daft suicide attempts, like overdosing on Tylenol, which usually only destroys your liver. We were not kind or compassionate in this regard. Some people say botched suicide attempts are a cry for help. I think that's part of it, but also a part of it I realized later is that depressed people don't excel at carefully detailed planning. I definitely did not when I was depressed, which was a huge source of anguish in my life, mostly in my twenties. I remember my mantra when I was about 19 or 20 was "I'm at the end of my rope." The funny thing about that mantra was I got that line off a movie. There was something beautiful about the glorious, Shakespearean intensity of being at the end of your rope. I think I wanted that level of tragic depression but my depression was more mediocre and stupid. I was in my 20's, thrumming with potential, swimming in a boundless sea of opportunity, fun, adventure, and romance . But I lived in denial of all that potential. Nothing was happening for me. Sunny days were worse than rainy days because I felt like I was missing out more on sunny days. Doing nothing on rainy days is easier. Yeah don't believe everything you think is good advice. Also just get moving. I learned to juggle coming out of depression. Steve Martin had a bit about how everyone should be issued a banjo at birth to prevent sadness. Like banjo playing, juggling replaces sadness. "Behavior wags the dog of feelings." is a Constructive Living phrase. The founder of CL (David Reynolds) got himself institutionalized for depression, (as a school experiment!) through "depressed" behavior. He actually made himself suicidally depressed by practicing sad behaviors and got himself released through through practicing "healthy" behavior. So I found the CL approach of doing things that were good for me, even though I did not feel like it, very helpful . As I changed my behavior, I noticed myself swimming more in that sea of opportunity, and as I found fun, adventure, women, I got on to an upward spiral lifting me out of the pits of depression. I watched the Salposky video you posted, It's a good overview. Unless I missed something I don't think he talked about treatment. I guess a full approach would include antidepressants, therapy, and behavior change. The anti depressants ideally should be only used long enough to get someone on the upward spiral that behavior change and the resulting positive feedback, produces. For those physical chemical changes I would include cold exposure (shock) therapy and PEMF therapy. We're still in the primitive stages of effecting the necessary chemical changes.
  18. Ha ha. Agreed.
  19. Sure the sound quality was a bit shitty, but the sound volume was louder and more consistant than usual. I understood every word. So it wasn't that bad.
  20. I decided to take the challenge and give something away. I tried to give away my pool table. It's an 8 foot Minnesota Fats slate table in great condition. I've had it for so many years in the garage, waiting to have a place to set it up. We tried selling it earlier and that never worked although a neighbor said he would buy it for his daughter, then he never followed up. We told the neighbor he could just have it for free, but I think they had to clean a basement first in order to set it up, so again he never followed through. I told my neice and nephew they could have it, because they have a shit pool table at their mom's house, but they did not want to go to all the bother of setting it up. I tried to give away an antique bedside stand. It was kind of a fixer-upper. I did not know who to give it to so I stuck it in the backseat of my wife's car for her to give away. She decided to try to sell it on Craigslist for 20 bucks. Anyway this old hippie type lady shows up at our house and she just loves it and she acted so grateful to be getting this stand for 20 bucks. She likes to fix up antiques for a hobby. She even sent us a picture of it all fixed up and polished (I think she was going to re-sell it for much more money but that's fine). I felt satisfied that she was happy and we got rid of something, and got 20 bucks to boot. I was going to give away this old Irish harp I had made from a kit, but I did not know who to give that to either. I decided since selling that stand worked out so well, I would sell the harp for 50 bucks on Craigslist. A middle aged couple came over to buy it and they were both delighted with it. The woman was a musician who for years wanted a harp to play, and the guy was a woodworker who could fix up the minor flaws (one of the "feet" was cracked). Anyway they were both beaming and grateful when they left and we got 50 bucks so it was a win-win. A little later, coincidentally, our nephew decided he now wanted the pool table so he came by and hauled it off in his mom's pickup truck. He was grateful and all, but not as much as the other people that we sold stuff to. You know, kids these days, blah blah. Anyway, by the time my nephew decided to get the table I had decided to keep the pool balls and use them to practice contact juggling. I don't know why I did not think of this before because I always wanted to do the type of contact juggling "Mr. Statue" does in Portland, but I did not want to spend money on the expensive balls. Anyway I have been practicing it for a couple months now and I'm having a great time. I guess I totally fucked up on this challenge. I have to say though, over all, I would rather sell stuff cheap than give it away. And and also see if I can find a another use for things before selling them. That's what I learned. Hold on tight to your stuff, my advice.
  21. Another great Duncan/Emil convo. For a while they went down a rabbit hole and completely lost me, just after Emil talked about this Tibetan monk reaching into a box and pulling out artifacts from the void. What? That book was written by Amy Wallace, a prominent author at the time, and from my understanding, Castenada's main "girlfriend". Castaneda was a baller. I don't remember that lizard story Duncan told at all, and I read all of Castenada's books, (the first 4, I read twice). Well, it did not take much internet searching to find this quote So he sewed the lizards eyelids shut. At least he was nice about it. Pretty tricky to do though, with live lizards and clumsy tools. Could be Castenada made it up.
  22. This is hilarious @TeenKonceptz® but not everyone benefits from SSRI's. Dr.'s use basic trial and error to find the right anti-depressant and they should do genetic testing first. I've heard that 40% of white males have a genetic make up such that Citalopram for example will have no good effects, and probably cause bad effects such as more fatigue. This is a real thing although I haven't been able to verify the 40% statistic after several minutes of internet research so fuck it don't judge me.
  23. Moved this from the Adam Strauss podcast thread. No @Rainman Thundercunt I never heard anyone talk about the depressed/deep rest idea before, so I was happy to see that video. I don't know if it would have helped me to see that when I was severely depressed, but the more I came out of depression, the more I found the idea helpful that I could just rest and "ride it out" each time I felt depressed. Part of my understanding came from learning how chaos states work in biology and learning. I got this understanding from participating in taketina circles and from other sources I don't remember. Anyway the idea is that prior to jumping into greater level of organization, a biological organism, and even individual cells, sometimes go through states of complete chaos and disorder. So in the Taketina rhythm process, Reinhart Flatishlier taught that people will go though states of complete chaos, called "falling out" of rhythm. Contrary to linear, additive thinking, "falling out" is a very good thing. The more completely you can fall out of rhythm in this process, the more completely you will fall back in, because the learning comes though both active participation and surrender. Then in this context, we can look at depression as a falling out of the rhythm of life. In that state of depression we can surrender and also look with open curiosity, for a chance to fall back in. I don't know if this will make sense or be useful to anyone who has not experienced taketina. Nor can I tell if the above video would be useful for someone severely, clinically depressed. That's why I can't think of much advice to give other people. I can only say what worked for me, to "get over" depression in the sense that I can go for months without feeling depressed, and when I do get "depressed" it is for hours at a time, not days, weeks, and years. Thanks for all the responses here, I'll have more to say later.
  24. Thanks @Rainman Thundercunt, I agree he would make a cool guest. I base that on watching this one video. I never heard of this guy before. I love his way of framing depression though. I think I will reply more to this on my depression thread in the Family Talk session so I can include the video there.