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monkey_mine

Hrair
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Everything posted by monkey_mine

  1. I decided to take the challenge and give something away. I tried to give away my pool table. It's an 8 foot Minnesota Fats slate table in great condition. I've had it for so many years in the garage, waiting to have a place to set it up. We tried selling it earlier and that never worked although a neighbor said he would buy it for his daughter, then he never followed up. We told the neighbor he could just have it for free, but I think they had to clean a basement first in order to set it up, so again he never followed through. I told my neice and nephew they could have it, because they have a shit pool table at their mom's house, but they did not want to go to all the bother of setting it up. I tried to give away an antique bedside stand. It was kind of a fixer-upper. I did not know who to give it to so I stuck it in the backseat of my wife's car for her to give away. She decided to try to sell it on Craigslist for 20 bucks. Anyway this old hippie type lady shows up at our house and she just loves it and she acted so grateful to be getting this stand for 20 bucks. She likes to fix up antiques for a hobby. She even sent us a picture of it all fixed up and polished (I think she was going to re-sell it for much more money but that's fine). I felt satisfied that she was happy and we got rid of something, and got 20 bucks to boot. I was going to give away this old Irish harp I had made from a kit, but I did not know who to give that to either. I decided since selling that stand worked out so well, I would sell the harp for 50 bucks on Craigslist. A middle aged couple came over to buy it and they were both delighted with it. The woman was a musician who for years wanted a harp to play, and the guy was a woodworker who could fix up the minor flaws (one of the "feet" was cracked). Anyway they were both beaming and grateful when they left and we got 50 bucks so it was a win-win. A little later, coincidentally, our nephew decided he now wanted the pool table so he came by and hauled it off in his mom's pickup truck. He was grateful and all, but not as much as the other people that we sold stuff to. You know, kids these days, blah blah. Anyway, by the time my nephew decided to get the table I had decided to keep the pool balls and use them to practice contact juggling. I don't know why I did not think of this before because I always wanted to do the type of contact juggling "Mr. Statue" does in Portland, but I did not want to spend money on the expensive balls. Anyway I have been practicing it for a couple months now and I'm having a great time. I guess I totally fucked up on this challenge. I have to say though, over all, I would rather sell stuff cheap than give it away. And and also see if I can find a another use for things before selling them. That's what I learned. Hold on tight to your stuff, my advice.
  2. Another great Duncan/Emil convo. For a while they went down a rabbit hole and completely lost me, just after Emil talked about this Tibetan monk reaching into a box and pulling out artifacts from the void. What? That book was written by Amy Wallace, a prominent author at the time, and from my understanding, Castenada's main "girlfriend". Castaneda was a baller. I don't remember that lizard story Duncan told at all, and I read all of Castenada's books, (the first 4, I read twice). Well, it did not take much internet searching to find this quote So he sewed the lizards eyelids shut. At least he was nice about it. Pretty tricky to do though, with live lizards and clumsy tools. Could be Castenada made it up.
  3. This is hilarious @TeenKonceptz® but not everyone benefits from SSRI's. Dr.'s use basic trial and error to find the right anti-depressant and they should do genetic testing first. I've heard that 40% of white males have a genetic make up such that Citalopram for example will have no good effects, and probably cause bad effects such as more fatigue. This is a real thing although I haven't been able to verify the 40% statistic after several minutes of internet research so fuck it don't judge me.
  4. Depression for me was a state of "failing at everything". It was important for me to find some things to do that I would not fail at doing. It was important to move my body. It was important to get outside. It was important to find some way to have fun.
  5. Moved this from the Adam Strauss podcast thread. No @Rainman Thundercunt I never heard anyone talk about the depressed/deep rest idea before, so I was happy to see that video. I don't know if it would have helped me to see that when I was severely depressed, but the more I came out of depression, the more I found the idea helpful that I could just rest and "ride it out" each time I felt depressed. Part of my understanding came from learning how chaos states work in biology and learning. I got this understanding from participating in taketina circles and from other sources I don't remember. Anyway the idea is that prior to jumping into greater level of organization, a biological organism, and even individual cells, sometimes go through states of complete chaos and disorder. So in the Taketina rhythm process, Reinhart Flatishlier taught that people will go though states of complete chaos, called "falling out" of rhythm. Contrary to linear, additive thinking, "falling out" is a very good thing. The more completely you can fall out of rhythm in this process, the more completely you will fall back in, because the learning comes though both active participation and surrender. Then in this context, we can look at depression as a falling out of the rhythm of life. In that state of depression we can surrender and also look with open curiosity, for a chance to fall back in. I don't know if this will make sense or be useful to anyone who has not experienced taketina. Nor can I tell if the above video would be useful for someone severely, clinically depressed. That's why I can't think of much advice to give other people. I can only say what worked for me, to "get over" depression in the sense that I can go for months without feeling depressed, and when I do get "depressed" it is for hours at a time, not days, weeks, and years. Thanks for all the responses here, I'll have more to say later.
  6. Thanks @Rainman Thundercunt, I agree he would make a cool guest. I base that on watching this one video. I never heard of this guy before. I love his way of framing depression though. I think I will reply more to this on my depression thread in the Family Talk session so I can include the video there.
  7. I'm getting depressed. I'm getting deepressed. I'm getting deep rest. It seems sometimes can fight it out, and sometimes you can ride it out.
  8. Wow a lot of new people posting here. Welcome aboard new people! What a coinkidink! This was a great podcast. Adam Strauss is fun to listen to. Funny it started out with a depression rant but it's the first DTFH podcast I've listened to all the way through in a while. For me depression is a state of total chaos. Sometimes biologically we go through a states of chaos and come out of them in a higher level of organization. I don't remember where that idea came from.
  9. It's not what you look like, when you're doin' what you're doin' It's what you're doin' when you're doin' what you look like you're doin'!
  10. Some people have everything and other people don't but everything don't mean a thing if it ain't the thing you want!
  11. I started listening to Drifter's Sympathy lately and I'm enjoying the hell out of it. The autobiographical episodes are great and some of the stories Emil tells are equally horrifying and hilarious. His music podcasts are fun too with mostly music/bands I have never heard before. What happened to music podcasts? Does anyone know of a good music podcast? I used to listen to a few. Now I mostly listen to radio music archives because I can't find any good music podcasts.
  12. It's a lousy club anyway. No one ever shows up for meetings.
  13. Spicer would have to be a brilliant actor to pull off that flub on purpose, and follow it with the fumbled explanation. I don't see it. I feel angry and distracted but things like bombings and the potential for war seem worth my attention, even though, yes we do have a corporatocracy on steroids. Everything is fucked up. Fuck this shit. I'm going to listen to this.
  14. Oh and thank you Spicer for clearing things up. "Ashaad" is worse than Hitler. Hitler didn't sink to the level of dropping gas bombs on towns, "he brought them into the Holocaust centers". You're the BEST, Spicer
  15. Do you feel lucky Asaad? Do you? Go ahead, punk, make my day!
  16. Nobody mentions WAG THE DOG? I think it's Trump's WAG THE DOG moment. https://www.commondreams.org/news/2017/04/07/observers-warn-syria-attack-trumps-wag-dog-moment l Just look at his tweets! It's all there in the tweets! He tweeted 18 tweets that we should not bomb Syria. http://time.com/4730219/syria-missile-attack-donald-trump-tweets/ Trump is an asshole.
  17. Your welcome @softwarmpretty. Yeah I think the unconscious language of symbolism and myth is universal and what gives stories like yours power is that the symbolism bypasses people's conscious mind and speaks directly to their unconscious. You have a means of accessing your unconscious intelligence through your dream character, Remember. Glad to hear you are letting more stories come up and sharing them in any way that appeals to you.
  18. Agree with @Tin Ramthat you have the makings of a children's book here. With the right illustrations it would have great appeal to children and also adults. It's a gift to have a dream like that, one that deserves to be shared widely. The striking theme to me in Remember's story is the karma of possession. Remember gets a precious possession, but in so doing, he incurs karma (the suffering of the golden bird and her eggs). That karma warps his life until Growingly helps him out by transforming the red (an instructive color, red often symbolizes selfishness) crystal into a brown rock. He buries the rock- symbolizing both the chod rite of self sacrifice and the return of the crystal (in form) to mother earth. He waters the rock (attention) and the tree that grows transforms the selfish red of the crystal into the abundance of red flowers, attracting the golden birds (the gold of alchemical wisdom) and feeding hungry people with the fruit of the tree. This releases Remember from his karma. The problem of feeding hungry people is not a problem of scarcity but of distribution. The greed and possessiveness of the .01% and the channeling of money into the military industrial complex (out of fear, paranoia) ties up our resources so hungry people do not get fed. This fable is about releasing the karma of greed and fear so that the hungry people of the world can be fed. That's my take anyway.
  19. Agreed, unless a couple is on a path of mutual co-evolution. Otherwise probably it won't work. You seem to have some interest in this, but you also have a charge. It has become a hot topic for you. I think there's more than one way to get to an understanding of Krishnamurti, (if you have an interest in the direction, but not the road). I would have suggested checking out Ligia Dantes (she was called the "female Krishnamurti" by Michael Toms, who knew K. personally and professionally) BUT I think that's a little too close in style. As an alternative, you might find Tony Packer's work more agreeable. She was a Zen type person inspired/transformed through her understanding of Krishnamurti. Her books are very easy to read and you can find many of her video talks on Youtube. Otherwise you may be able find an understanding of Krishnamurti through the guidance of your speaker/husband. He's quite skillful at guiding someone with inquiry through the essential teachings. I came to experience a breakthrough in my understanding of K partly though my own investigations, but also to a great degree, through inquiring with the speaker on this thread. Before this point, I understood intellectually what K meant when he talked about observing without an observer. But in this past year, I got to have a solid experience of it. I don't know if I had ever accessed this state before, but because of the way I entered this experience, through neutral self inquiry, I found I could return to it again and again. Still, as my most recent meditation teacher (Jason Siff) parses things, I'm apparently having a generative experience, not a receptive one. In a generative state, you have an intent to change your current state, and through focused intent or inquiry you change it. There's apparently some degree of effort involved. A receptive state, in contrast is a pure and effortless opening into what is. A generative state, by definition, can't become permanent. A receptive state can. I may have entered receptively and then started to generate it as a way of repeating it. I'm not sure. If so, I may have already gone off track from my original awakening experience. Yes it does. If you mean his single minded dedication to this one track yes, this has annoyed several members here. Good! Right interest will find a way, but remember if you hold on to a charge, even unconsciously, the charge will deflect you from neutral self inquiry. Ultimatums in relationships generally suck ass. Sometimes however, they appear necessary. By the way, the speaker called it religion once on this thread, but we know he does not mean it in the conventional sense. Having said all this, (too much probably), can you stay open and curious when the speaker calls you Krishnamurti Deficient? Why does he lose you in that moment?
  20. That struck me as both absurdly funny and also fucked up. Besides that, however, it may also be true. I'll have to compose a more complete reply to your post in a few days, but I think it is worth considering if there might be something instructive intended when the speaker labels you as Krishnamurti Deficient.
  21. @DindetteNuffin I don't mean to pry, but.... What is the ultimatum specifically? What has happened lately? Do you feel spiritually incompatible with the speaker or is this exclusively his evaluation? When you describe the talking as incessant, do you mean all the discerning? Do you see it as a possibility- (for you to discern what the speaker has discerned) or do you see it as a dead end for you? When I asked you this a while back, You replied Other than the speaker's word, this is the only confirmation we have that the speaker has had a genuine and beneficial awakening experience. It's a very human thing to do, to want to share this type of experience with others, or with everyone, thinking it will change the world if everyone has this experience. Sometimes a kind of mania for sharing it takes hold, which tends to dissipate over time. Most people are not attracted to the mania of the newly converted, which partly explains the loss of interest in the speaker's project here. If he wanted to, he could start a cult, but he does not seem interested in that. By the way, I am not using mania as a diagnostic term. I can't reliably discern between the mania of a bi-polar personality and the passion and enthusiasm of an awakened individual who has gone beyond egoic self interest and who sees the desperately fucked up state of the world, and acutely feels the urgency for change. That makes sense to me, only because I think it increases your participation in the kind of discernment the speaker wants to communicate. If you're willing to keep discerning, you may find communion. I would imagine that is what it would take for you to be "spiritually compatible" with the speaker. The question that arises for me is this: Is that a fair or reasonable thing to ask of a spouse after 10 years of marriage? Essentially to ask the spouse to convert to one's newly found religion? A question has been put. I just putted it. What do the sirs/mams think?
  22. Hey girl, you don't need to bring your sexism into this! That zombie killing WOW playing Buddhist friend I mentioned above is a woman. My wife (also a woman) likes to watch violent movies almost as much as I do (she has a low tolerance for zombie gore though). I appreciate beauty where I find it. I also like romantic movies like Punch Drunk Love, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Silver Linings Playbook. The kids movie, "Inside Out" made me cry. Maybe if we lived in an enlightened society, we would not find beauty in film violence or have fun in violent video games. But we grew up and got conditioned by this society. Does that make our taste in entertainment/beauty fucked up? Or perhaps is it possible that we see a type of beauty there that you have not learned to see? Have you never seen a violent movie that you liked? And that includes movies like "Lord of the Rings" trilogy and "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon".
  23. True, this is a Star Trek thread after all... I guess I'm not as nerdy about it as I used to be.
  24. Engagement/perception becomes one thing. No space left for the separate observer.
  25. I'm familiar with what I call the "pre-thought" impulses, just before I gotten periods of total silence, so I know what you mean there. But it always took effort and focus for me, to get to those states, rather than just relaxing out of thinking entirely.