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66 Purple Pope


About noizemonk

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  1. Oh man. Illuminatus is great but, his speculative nonfiction is the real gold. Cosmic Tigger just got a legit reprint. It has moments that are dated but it's classic. Also Quantum Psychology, New Inquisition, Prometheus Rising, Everything is Under Control. He has a great interview with McKenna. His appearance on The Hour of Slack was gold. And watch Maybe Logic. Wish I could have all y'all over for a viewing. Enjoy!
  2. Hello to COSM and Tyqo, and thank you both for chiming in. Basically, I've gotten it to look decent enough, and I find it reasonably pleasing. I like dark bg with light text, for example, one of the reasons I love the forum. I put in images that I think are ok. But I do notice they loom a bit large on the desktop view. I had somebody tell me "so edgy bro" when that was not my intention at all. What I'm trying to do with Apocalypse Fatigue is reach people like myself who struggle with depression/anxiety as a result of their own experience of our shared predicament. The "apocalypse" is in the context of unveiling uncomfortable truths, though we're all sick of the doomsday reruns. Between the rants and reality checks I am trying to offer up hope by example, sharing stories via interview and article that I feel are evidence that the balance is shifting a bit at a time. The book, when done, will be a manual for an open-source life game with which one can transcend mental illness and become part of the solution. The podcast is interviews with people who have done that in some way. The music is for self-exploration. The blog is shower thoughts and occasional essays. I am also working on stickers and other merch. Ideally, I'd like it to be speedy and have a more intuitive interface. I want to recapture the feeling of finding an auspicious artifact, going back to my youth of discovering new paradigms through the used bins in book and record shops. I also have no idea how to use SEO, though I see that's on Squarespace as well. The idea is to provide a good experience for people stumbling on the site and to increase their chances of doing so. My ultimate audience for the blog, eventual book, musical output and the growing podcast won't be up to me, but I reckon to be on the safe side, I'd like it to be welcoming and visually interesting enough to keep attention while delivering a little dose of hope to keep people who are desperate from doing desperate things. I'm not sure if that is helpful. I guess what I'd propose is inviting you to take a critical look and let me know what can be done, and if you want to do it, I can hand over the login credentials and we can see where it goes and talk about compensation. Thanks for entertaining the thought.
  3. Hey y'all. Once upon a time I took Duncan's advice and went the Squarespace route for hosting my website. I dig it in a lot of ways, and can't say I have a problem with the service itself. The main problem, I feel, is my own lack of experience with coding and such. I haven't done a scratch website since the early 2000s. Rather than ramble much longer, I'll just ask: Would somebody here be willing to help me tune my Squarespace page up? It's not bad, just not quite what I'm after. If you're in, PM and I'll send the link so as not to spam the forum. You can have a look, and if interested, we can talk about where to go from there. Thanks!
  4. I asked for a plate and you delivered a feast. My thanks!
  5. Popes etc, do any of you hail from Denver or Colorado at large? My wife and I are taking a spontaneous trip in a month and a half and I'm hoping to get some inside data on what gems the garden hides. If you are a native or just well travelled, I value your experience and advice. What would you recommend? Arts, music, spirituality/magical spaces, booze, food (veggie a plus), junkshops, books etc. Hiking, natural beauty. High weirdness always welcome. Thank you!
  6. Today the word "microguilt" came to me as I was driving. I couldn't find it in a search, and I have no idea if it's an established concept under another name. Since it popped into my mind and intrigued me, I thought I’d craft a personal definition. So what does it mean? Well I’m very familiar with guilt, being a human raised in a Judeochristian family in flyover country. But I do not refer to the overt guilt we feel after doing harm, whether as the result of an unfortunate accident or an act of ill will. I do not refer to the engineered guilt that is installed by so many religions as a means of control. To me, “microguilt” refers to a different kind of remorse. This is the voice of conditioning, but coming to you from inside your mind. In each of our minds rattles a thousand nagging background thoughts from childhood and experience in society that we have all allowed to become institutions. We believe them to be true, so when they come from inside, we feel compelled to trust them. They seemed true to somebody, but they may not be true to you in your unique experience. To indulge in microguilt is to beat yourself up for or push yourself to act on impulses which you have magnified in your perception. Think of each instance of microguilt as a single buzzing fly in an otherwise serene room. It's tiny, but enough of a distraction to throw off concentration. Microguilt leads to a spiral effect as it activates tangents and these rapidly cluster up. The silver lining of this idea is that if you truly are plagued by a cloud of mental pests, each one should be considerably more surmountable on its own. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed if you see countless distractions and distortions. With the microguilt model, rather than being outnumbered, you can take it one moment, one thought at a time. As overplayed an image as it is, the trope of the slow-motion bullets from The Matrix is apt here. Why dodge a hail of gunfire when you can move around individual bullets? In a state of contemplation you are faced not with a barrage of pressures but with a choice of which of your obstacles to confront in the moment. With concentration and patient effort you can easily rid yourself of these little phantom flies one at a time until you are restored to a clean room to think once more. Imagine the serenity of a cool evening, undisturbed and able to stretch your mind to fit the dimensions of your imagination rather than having it jumbled around a tiny delusion or distraction. Your life can be your own rather than a parade of Pavlovian responses. What will you do with your full mental power restored? This is especially important for activists of all stripes. The world you confront with your actions is dark and filled with vampiric energies. Their greatest entertainment is to siphon the energy you might spend defeating them into fretting over the bleak circumstances of a world run by criminally insane primates with a lust for power. To serve your world, you must serve well yourself enough to stay in your best shape, both mentally and physically. The old expression “do no harm, but take no shit” applies here. It is okay to destroy thought parasites. They’re already doing it to you. How many times have you sabotaged good work by getting mired in your own holographc hellhole? Divide and conquer is the oldest trick in the book. We’ve seen it time and time again with the FBI’s COINTELPRO and the plainclothes cops inciting violence in peaceful protests. It is a problem people tend to generate in groups, but it is encouraged and amplified by media, politicians and people of influence. It keeps the people tied up in ridiculous arguments over fallacies and the people in power laughing all the way to the offshore bank. Your efforts to organize and change the systems you rail against and seek to improve or replace will fail if these divisions destroy communities of change, and you will not be up to par as part of the work if you are divided within yourself. When you learned to walk, it took constant, total attention. You needed to learn how to use your muscles and joints in tandem to maintain balance over shifting terrain. It took you weeks and months of practice. You had a lot of accidents and maybe you even messed yourself up a bit. It was all part of the process. When you learned to think, I’m afraid, it wasn’t the same. From birth to age seven we are a combination of sponges and echo chambers. About three years in we start to string together things we’ve heard intomeaningful statements that reflect the moment, but we’re still playing parrot for a while. It is about this time that our desire for independence becomes rebellion. This instinct will serve us for life, even if it drives our parents to the limits of their patience and sanity. The problem with all that sponging is that we absorb gigabytes of data that may not all be that helpful to us. There is a fierce effort to create brand loyalty from birth on. There are loud voices attempting to force certain behaviors. We experience the reruns of our parents’ trauma and any static in the dynamics of our home life transfers to us because we are forming our definitions of reality. We carry this for life. With great effort we can undo zombie behavior and reprogram ourselves to react with flexibility and intelligence. It’s not easy. It must be done over and over. Yet it can be done. One way to look at thoughts is not to see them as the sky, but only as clouds. Your awareness is always there, as is the sky. The thoughts come and go, spawning as dust and water collide and collude. They block the light of pure awareness temporarily, yet they are nowhere near as solid as they appear. Of course not all thoughts are bad, but so many of them come uninvited and make themselves very awkward guests. When you feel invaded, remember that both thoughts and clouds are mainly empty space, and are by their very nature ephemeral. I’m learning to treat them as events within my mind rather than my mind itself. It’s a process that requires nearly constant vigilance, but it is beginning to become more natural and automatic. When I make the effort, I feel the relief. In time, I hope to see it become second nature. I hope the same for you. We all deserve to know our real power. You can’t necessarily prevent negative thoughts, but I would encourage you to take the wheel of your reactions when you can. I know introspection feels like a luxury in our hyper-aware, always-on world of information, but it’s one you can afford. Meditation, stripped of all the trappings that have been attached to it over the centuries and especially lately, is really just the practice of learning how you think and what you need. You can do this anywhere, and any time that you’re able to get some privacy. Let yourself think as you will, but keep watch. When a thought appears, be honest with yourself about whether or not it is useful to you. Does it serve you, or does it steal your attention from more useful purposes? If it serves you, let it do so, but if it is a thief, kick it out before it loots the till. It’s difficult to keep this up all the time, and nobody could really be expected to, but keep your inner eye out for bad habits. Parasites of the body steal the best parts of food before the body can digest it. Parasites of the mind do the same for our cognitive bandwidth. The less energy you allow to be drained off by these parasitic thoughts, the more you’ll have for doing what you really need and want to do in life to be happier. When you start to feel the creepy crawl of unclean spirits in your mind, keep this simple banishing ritual in mind: 1. Take 3 very deep breaths with a pause between them. 2. Picture the thought as a mosquito, then zoom your perspective out until it goes from looming large to hardly visible. 3. Thank it for its service. If it has a point, take some action. If not, dismiss the message. 4. Picture it surrounded by blue lightning, like those old bug zappers. 5. Breathe out deeply, releasing the "smoke" of the incinerated pest. 6. Breathe in deeply, filling the space it held with oxygen. 7. Reconsider where you are in your mental space. Are there more mental mosquitoes keeping you from being at a place of peace? If so, repeat 1-6. Think of this as spraying for psychic pests. You wash your hands when you’ve been in public, so wash your own brain when you get to a place where you can do the work Just as a certain amount of viruses and physical parasites can’t be avoided in daily life, the same is true of their mental counterparts. We’re surrounded by messages that are designed specifically to lodge in the mind and multiply. From Edward Bernays to modern days, propaganda is everywhere, and has been perfected. A growing number of us can see and reject it in its common forms, but indoctrination runs deep. From childhood we are encouraged to associate pleasure with brands and their ubiquitous logos. Earworms and commercials are blasted at us from television, radio, stores, gas pumps, and damn near every corner of the internet. A certain kind of hygiene and medicine are required for the pests of the body, and so it is with the mind. Practice makes ease.
  7. Great wisdom in the above for fathers of all ages! Fatherhood will crack your heart all the way open and drag you into immediacy, and if you embrace that you will encounter the kingdom. You will also be driven mad at times by insomnia and the frustration that comes from caring for a being with many needs and few ways to communicate. But it will get better, and it is all worth it. Build in an outlet for stress, so you do not carry it with you. You are a guardian now. Protector of the new body, teacher of the new mind, and disciplinarian of the new ego when the time comes. You are your mate's rock, for strong as she is all of us need a firm foundation of support. This will be terrifying and wonderful and you will grow into it and shock yourself with hindsight in a few years. Now some practical stuff. There is an enormous bounty of gently used baby furniture and clothes. Don't spend a ton of money on new stuff because it will get wrecked, but find sturdy stuff. Look for used gear in "upper class" zip codes, as the quality has to be high to resell but prices are much better than new. Avoid electronic toys for a while. Babies are fascinated by the details of simple things. Old school musical and wooden toys do well. Get an idea together what you want and then bring home fun and practical surprises. There are many ways to be a hunter. I don't know what y'all will do, but we did lots of holding, skin to skin. Building that base of security. We did co-sleep in bed for 3 months, then 3 months in a pack n play in our room, then transitioned to crib. Plan ahead to get a twin bed because they grow fast and may be ready by 2.5 or so. Get the baby monitor now. I don't advocate forcing a diet on a kiddo. I will say though that we were religious about veggies and vitamins supplements in late pregnancy and carried through with mostly veg right up to now. My daughter towers over kids her age and has a photographic memory, incredible energy. Food processors help because you can make your own. Those squeeze packs will save your life too. But that's years off. It'll be milk for a while. Dunno how mum feels about breast milk but if she wants to go that route, find her a pump now, and help her stockpile a bunch of frozen milk to make her life easier. Worth it for a compact freezer if you can spare the room. You'll want the storage bags that go right in a bottle. Medela makes good shit that holds up. Help her with as much of the logistics of this as you can, the pumping is enough work as it is. Please, ask anything. It takes a village and this is a good one.
  8. 93, Traveler. I'm glad it is of service. I'm thinking of producing an audio version.
  9. "Play from your fucking heart!" But to be real I've got a 3.5 year old so I remember pregnancy forward and my initiation process (ongoing, of course) is pretty easy to reference. You're going to be great and find new depths and power and be humbled and healed. Context alleviates anxiety. AMA, brother.
  10. @duncanThank you from the bottom of my heart for this wonderful interview. I've been working on something like self-authoring program privately (in an esoteric game manual format) and I got very excited when I heard about it. I looked on a whim and the program was at a massive discount for a pair. So now my wife and I are doing the self-authoring program. You're saving and improving the quality of countless lives with your work, @duncan Dinner's on me if you're ever in AZ.
  11. @Thinkstoomuch We are not the first. We're going to get it right this time.
  12. My thanks for the electronic nudge good sir.
  13. Well I must say I fucking loved that. Thank you.
  14. We are embodiments of and participants in a mystery beyond our comprehension. All certainty does is cram infinity into a matchbox. In good time, we all come to realize that we all have our own spiritual bullshit, and that it's all part of self-discovery. If it isn't harmful, there's no real use beyond self-satisfaction in dogging other people's belief systems. Folks tend to switch up their own anyway when experience creates doubt or curiosity. As Conficious said, "Don't start no shit, won't be no shit."
  15. Glad to hear that! Thank you man.